Sex itself can mean lots of things to different people. One inclusive definition some 2S/LGBTQIA+ sexual health educators like to use is intentional sexual acts that involve touching genitals without a cloth barrier. This open definition of sex allows people with different needs, likes, and bodies to be included, whereas the heteronormative definition (genital-to-genital penetrative sex) does not. Oral, “hand stuff,” toys and penetrative sex can all be included in this definition of sex. Your definition of sex may be entirely different from these! How one refers to a sex act can be the cause of euphoria or dysphoria, depending on the person. Oral and hand stuff often have slang terms connected to a genital type and can be societally gendered (going down, hand job, etc.). Some people may prefer the name related to a different set of genitals to their own. Others may choose a neutral term like oral. What is most important is that you allow yourself to use whichever words make you feel comfortable and sexy.