Using barrier protection every time isn’t easy for everyone. Also, not everyone uses protection every time even when they are trying to.

When using barrier protection it’s important to have conversations with your sexual partner(s) before getting into the heat of the moment. Anything you can do to increase your fun and safety is always a good move. Here’s a few ideas to help you remember to you the protection you want:

• Earlier is better. If you’ve talked about what methods of protection you will use before you take your clothes off, you’ll be able to stay in the moment when it comes time to put it on. Remember, this can be a fun part of sex. If you both know it’s going to happen you can use putting on barrier protection as a way to get your partner excited for what’s about to happen. If you are unable to talk to your partner beforehand, make sure you check in before engaging in activity that has a higher likelihood of transmitting an STI (such as penetration or oral sex).
• Assume your partner wants to use barrier protection. If you haven’t had a chance to ask what your partner is comfortable with, it is always better to have protection on hand. That will make your partner(s) feel like it’s okay to ask for protection. Plus if you haven’t had a chance to talk about when you last got tested it can make the experience more relaxed for both you and your partner(s).
• Keep them near. If your choice of barrier protection and lube are in sight, it’s easier for one of you to reach over and grab them.
• Get into them. Textures, flavours, and colours all make condoms and dental dams exciting in their own way. Putting them on can be its own thrill, because it means something really hot is about to happen. You can even make a little show of it, or ask your partner to put it on you, if that’s your thing.
• Find the kind you love. You don’t have to stick with one kind of condom or dental dam, but if you find a style that is just perfect for you, keep those ones handy.

If you’re sorting out how to make a plan around using condoms, check out the section on looking out for yourself.

It can feel awkward to be the one to bring this up with a partner or potential partner, but remember, there is a good chance this person is also wondering if they should bring up the topic. It can be helpful to talk about it beforehand, but that doesn’t always happen and that’s okay. It’s never too late to talk about how to keep each other safe and comfortable. If you don’t get a chance to talk about it, it’s always a good idea to err on the safe side. You want to enjoy the sex you are having/going to have with your partner(s), and your body feeling safe and cared for is a big piece of that enjoyment – for both/all of you!

If you have already had sex without barrier protection, and are unsure what to do, you can still bring it up with your partner. Check out our section ‘What to do if you forget to/don’t use barrier protection when you intended to’ to learn more about your options.

Remember, in all of these conversations it is important to really listen to and respect your partner. We all deserve to be heard, and have our decisions about our bodies and health listened to. Pressuring someone to not use protection if they have expressed that they wanted to is never okay, you can decide for yourself if the sex they want to have is the sex you also want to have. Check out our section on consent to learn more about this.

This section was adapted, with permission, from The Sex You Want Website.
*disclaimer: we do not necessarily endorse all of the information, content, or language used in these references