Protection works when it is used correctly. It doesn’t work if it’s not used correctly, or an accident such as ripping or slipping off happens. Learning how to use protection methods correctly can greatly reduce the chance of an accident happening. It may sound obvious, but protection methods also don’t work if you don’t use them. They don’t work if you use them half way through sex, if you use the same condom or dental dam on multiple partners, or if you take them off early. If you find that it’s hard for you to stick to using protection , think about using them with PrEP or undetectable HIV viral load, HPV vaccines, and if needed other forms of birth control.

Protection methods stop the transmission of some STBBIs like gonorrhoea and chlamydia for oral and anal sex. Other STBBIs, like HPV and herpes are transmitted from skin to skin, so if there is a sore or other infected area that the condom doesn’t cover, transmission is possible. This also applies to MPOX (previously referred to as monkeypox), which can be passed on through respiratory droplets (including kissing) or contact with sores in places a condom doesn’t cover. MPOX sores can be anywhere on the body. Learn more about MPOX here. If you are having sex, especially if it is with multiple partners or someone who is having sex with multiple other partners, it is important to get tested for STBBIs regularly, regardless of if you use protection consistently and correctly.

Taking PrEP or having an undetectable viral load combines extremely well with condoms. Additionally, the HPV vaccine can help prevent you from cancerous strains of HPV. If you are trying to prevent pregnancy you can also consider talking to your doctor about other contraception methods such as birth control and/or IUDs. Taking one already effective approach and combining it with another is a great way to stop both HIV, other STBBIs, and pregnancy.

Not everyone uses barriers, for a number of reasons. Some folks are using other sexual health strategies like PrEP and undetectable viral load, or feel safe because of the types of sex they are having, the infrequency of sex they are having, or the fact that they get tested regularly, they may also just be comfortable with the risk involved in barrier-free sex. Unfortunately, some people have not received sexual health education that allows them to make informed choices. Learning about these strategies your partner(s) are or aren’t using can help you know how to respond, what questions to ask yourself and them, and determine what you feel comfortable with. It is important to listen to your partner(s) but also yourself in these conversations. If someone is not respecting the ways you want to keep your body safe, you might want to ask yourself if the sex is worth the risk. There is no wrong answer, as long as you are respecting your own body and well-being.

There are also HIV-negative folks who choose not to use protection barriers with people who are HIV-negative, which is sometimes referred to as sero-sorting. Unfortunately, someone might think they are HIV-negative when they are not, because they have only recently acquired HIV. During this “acute HIV” period, people have a very high viral load and HIV transmission is more likely, but testing is unlikely to detect it yet. To learn more about the effectiveness of this strategy check out our section on sero-sorting. Sero-sorting is also used by HIV-positive people that choose to have sex with other HIV-positive folk.

Whatever the reason, think about what feels best to you, and what’s going to make you feel most confident going into sex, having sex, and afterwards. You deserve to have the sex that feels hot and safe, and sometimes that might mean passing on hooking up with someone who doesn’t want to use the same strategies you do, or doesn’t respect the decisions you want to make with your body.

To learn more about listening to your partner’s choices and advocating for your own needs check out our page on consent.

Lots of people find it hard to use condoms every time, don’t like them, or don’t want to use them for any number of reasons, sometimes even if they’ve tried to find a form or type of protection that works for them. Some people don’t love condoms and/or dental dams, but manage to still use them to reduce their anxiety. For others, it’s not so simple.

If using protection barriers consistently just isn’t a realistic sexual health strategy for you you can explore other safer sex strategies. If you are in a higher risk population for contracting HIV you could look into PrEP, and learn about undetectable viral load to figure out how to make the best decisions for yourself. You can also talk to your doctor about getting the HPV vaccine. If you are able to become pregnant and don’t want to get pregnant you can talk to your doctor about more long term forms of contraception.

If you’re having sex without protection, get tested frequently. If you do acquire an STI, especially HIV, finding out early and treating it right away is the best for your long-term health. If for whatever reason your plan to use protection doesn’t work out and you’re worried about having been exposed to HIV, it’s good to know that PEP is an option. If you are worried you may have gotten pregnant know that plan B is an option. That being said, Plan B is hard on your body, and is not a regular health strategy.

Remember, your sexual health isn’t all or nothing. Using as many strategies to keep yourself safe as often as possible is best, but not following your health plan once (or many times) does not mean you are a bad person or that you can’t use them next time. If you find that you are consistently not following through on the ways you have decided to keep yourself safe, take some time to think about, or talk to a doctor or community support worker, about what strategies might be more effective for you. This may sound like a lot of work, but putting these strategies in place for yourself will allow you to have more carefree sex, be in the moment, and decrease the amount of time you may spend worrying.

Many, but not all, STBBIs are transmissible through oral sex. STBBIs such as syphilis and gonorrhoea can be spread into the mouth and throat, whereas blood borne viruses such as HIV are quite unlikely to be passed this way. That being said, if you have open sores such as a cold sore, canker sore, or a new tongue piercing that changes the ease at which HIV can pass through oral sex. Additionally, performing oral sex on the anus can lead to intestinal diseases and bacteria such as giardia and illness from E. Coli.

Non-lubricated condoms, as well as flavoured condoms, are popular choices because they’re more comfortable for performing oral sex. And dental dams can be used on any hole for performing oral.

Remember, it is possible to get or pass on STBBIs in both the penis, vulva/vagina, and the throat during oral sex if you don’t use protection. If you use condoms for anal or vaginal/front-hole sex, but not for oral sex, it’s still a good idea to get tested regularly for STBBIs, including a throat swab.

If you’re sharing sex toys, using condoms or dental dams creates a barrier between your body and any potential HIV and/or STBBIs. Depending on how they’re used, sex toys might come up against rectal or vaginal fluids, blood, or faeces, which can transmit diseases between partners. Also, some sex toys might contain plastics or chemicals that aren’t great to put in your body. Even more expensive toys, like those made of silicone, have to be maintained and cleaned really well to make sure there are no bacteria hiding on or in them. Condoms are an easy way to worry less about what’s in a toy and more about playing around with it. If you want to know more about different sex toy materials and safety, there are lots of sex toy guides out there. One option you can check out is this awesome guide to toy care from Babeland.

If you are unsure of whether or not to use a dental dam or condom on a sex toy consider its shape and use. If it is phallic shaped and going to be inserted into a hole, an external condom is probably your best choice. If it is phallic shaped and going to be used just on the outside of your body a dental dam or condom might work. And if it is a shape that a condom won’t fit properly on, a dental dam covering the parts of your body the toy will be touching will be most effective. As you are using this toy be mindful of any fluids that might come in contact with your hands before you touch the toy. If you will be touching yourself or someone else with your fingers before touching the toy, consider washing your hands so as not to spread the bacteria/virus onto the toy.

It’s OK if you’re nervous! In our world condoms, dental dams, and lube can be super stressful. Even though so many people use protection, there are things that make it hard to ask for them or bring them up to the checkout line. If you live in a small town this can feel especially true as you may know the grocery store clerk or pharmacist. But that doesn’t need to stop you from having the best sex possible! Finding a local sexual health clinic can be one way to get condoms, since sometimes they leave condoms in a basket or bowl, and they’re free to take. There’s also our good friend the internet, where you can discreetly order all kinds of condoms. Many stores will send items like condoms in discreet packaging, and you can always ask if you want to make sure that’s how it will arrive. Check out our page on where to find protection in Nova Scotia for some ideas on where to look.

Some folks wonder if they’ll be able to stay hard in a condom, especially when they’re topping. This is totally normal, and happens for a bunch of reasons. Finding a condom that fits and feels good can help with that. Try a new size, shape, or brand and see if you like it. It’s even fun to jerk off with a condom, or snap some pictures of yourself wearing it to see how it fits. You can also buy cock rings, which wrap around your penis, testicles, or both, to help you stay hard. If it’s an ongoing issue, you can talk to your doctor about it, and they may offer you advice or medication to help you stay hard.

Some people find that masturbation (solo-sex, touching yourself) can be a great way to get used to practice staying hard with a condom on. It can get you used to the feeling without the pressure of a partner who you may feel is waiting or has expectations around your penis being hard.

Accidents happen. If a condom breaks or comes off, stop and let your partner know about it right away. If you haven’t talked about your HIV and STBBI status yet, it’s important that you do. If you’re worried you’ve been exposed, you can get tested for HIV and other STBBIs, look into PEP, or Plan B. Check out our section on what if I forget to wear a condom to find out more.

It may have expired, been exposed to too much heat or had a tear in the package. If the condom seems overly sticky or dry, doesn’t smell normal, or if you think something is wrong, get another one. Always check that condoms and/or dental dams are not expired before using them, and it’s always a good idea to err on the safe side if you’re not sure it’s still good!

To decide if you want to use internal or external condoms take some time to read about the pros and cons of both. They have different risk levels associated with them (for example, external condoms are 97% effective at preventing pregnancy whereas internal condoms are only 95% effective). Internal condoms can be harder to find, so if you are looking for a more accessible option you may decide to go with external condoms. It can be fun to try both, and see which one you prefer. Is one more comfortable for you? Do you feel safer with one? And of course, talk to your partner(s) about the type of condom they would like to use.

Latex allergies can range from mild to severe. They commonly present themselves as a rash, skin irritation, hives, runny nose, and sometimes trouble breathing. If you notice these symptoms start to come on during sex, or any other time you come in contact with latex, stop what you are doing and remove the latex from your skin immediately. If the symptoms become severe you it is a good idea to go to the ER immediately. You can talk to your doctor, or go to a walk-in clinic, to get tested for this allergy. If you are allergic to latex you will likely be prescribed an Epi-pen in case of future reactions. If you think you might have a latex allergy there is no harm switching to a non-latex condom or dental dam. Check out those pages to explore what alternative protection methods might be best for you.