Sometimes you may feel less interested in sex. That’s not necessarily a problem. Your sex drive can be affected by your physical, mental, or emotional health. It happens to everyone, not just people with HIV. Some things that may affect your sex drive include:

• Being stressed, tired, or sick.
• Smoking, drinking, or using drugs.
• Depression.
• Self-esteem issues.
• Prescription medications.
• Getting older (for example, hormonal changes around menopause often decrease folk’s sex drive).
• Stopping, starting, or adjusting dosage of testosterone or estrogen.
• Experiencing sexual assault or any other form of trauma.
• Entering a new relationship.
• Experiencing challenges in long-term relationships, or even just getting settled and/or more comfortable in a long-term relationship.

Be gentle with yourself after a recent diagnosis. It is perfectly natural for something like this to affect your sex drive, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Listen to what your body wants and what feels good to you. It’s also possible your sex drive will go up. Sex can be a great way to relieve stress as long as you are keeping yourself and your partners safe.

If you are not interested in sex for a long time and that bothers you, talk to your doctor, a counselor or reach out to us at HEAL NS. There are a few things you can do to get your sex drive back.

This section was adapted, with permission, from The Sex You Want Website.
*disclaimer: we do not necessarily endorse all of the information, content, or language used in these references

Hard-On, not Hard-Up

If you’re having issues getting or staying hard there are ways to help. Medications – like Cialis and Viagra – can help you get a hard-on, but they require a doctor’s prescription. They can be quite expensive and many insurance companies do not cover them.

Some things to consider when taking erection drugs:

• High doses of erection drugs can damage your penis. Some HIV medications can boost the effect of erection drugs you take, meaning your body will react like you took a higher dose than you actually took. Be especially careful if you are taking ritonavir (Norvir).
• Avoid poppers. Poppers cause a very sharp drop in your blood pressure. Erection medication lowers your blood pressure as well. Combining the two can be dangerous, especially if you have heart or blood pressure problems. Check out our section on party and play (PnP) to learn more about how to safely use poppers.
• If you’re having trouble staying hard while wearing condoms, erection drugs may help If you still get a hard-on in the morning, erection drugs are probably not the answer. Taking care of your emotional and mental health may be the answer. Talk to your doctor, or a counselor you feel comfortable talking about your sex life with.

This section was adapted, with permission, from The Sex You Want Website.
*disclaimer: we do not necessarily endorse all of the information, content, or language used in these references

Coming Clean on Butt-Play

For many people it is important to have a clean anus (butthole, ass, etc.) when we have anal sex. HIV might make that a challenge since HIV and HIV medications give some folks diarrhea. Here are some tips on how to deal with diarrhea:

• If you have diarrhea that comes on suddenly, it may be a sign of an infection. See your doctor if that happens.
• If your diarrhea is the result of your treatment, you may want to talk to your doctor about different treatment options, especially if this symptom persists
• Try medications like Imodium to control your diarrhea.
• Be sure you’re getting enough fibre in your diet. Eat fruits, vegetables, and whole grains and avoid eating too many processed foods. You can also buy psyllium fibre (such as metamucil) to add to your fibre intake.

If you still want to have anal sex but are worried about the mess, a condom could help keep your stool off your partner(s).

If you are just starting a new medication, these side effects may pass. Here are some other ways you can experience sex and intimacy with your partner(s) if you do not feeling comfortable/able to have anal sex for a period of time

• Oral sex
• Handjobs/touching each other (in any places that feel good)
• Mutual masturbation. This can be virtual, across a couch/room from each other, while holding each other, or next to each other in bed.
• Kissing. It can be fun to go back to the basics!
• Cuddling. Cuddles can be naked or clothed depending on what is comfortable and the level of or type of intimacy you want.
• Reading together, playing a card game, making art, or any other activity you both/all enjoy.
• Taking a bath/shower together.
• Cooking a meal and sitting down to eat together.

You can also use this as an excuse to spend some time with your own body – check out our section on self-pleasure to learn more.

This section was adapted, with permission, from The Sex You Want Website.
*disclaimer: we do not necessarily endorse all of the information, content, or language used in these references

Combining Strategies

PrEP, undetectable HIV viral load, condoms, and regular frequent HIV and other STI testing, are all very dependable strategies for making the chances of HIV transmission unlikely. So just imagine how effective it can be when folks combine two or more of these strategies!

Everyone has a unique approach to sex, pleasure, and health. That means that every time you hook up with a new person – or even the same person, you have to figure out how their way of having sex might fit into yours. If you’re a HIV-negative and you typically use barrier protection, you might still want to use it even if the person you’re hooking up with is on PrEP. Or if you have an undetectable viral load, you might choose to use condoms when having sex with other people even if they’re also undetectable or on PrEP, as a way of reducing the chance of STI transmission. HIV and STI prevention strategies work best in combination and testing is a way to prevent future infections.

There are lots of ways to go about having hot sex while taking care of your sexual health. What we know is that combining HIV & STI prevention strategies has the best outcomes for lowering HIV and STI transmission — how you go about it is up to you!

This section was adapted, with permission, from The Sex You Want Website.
*disclaimer: we do not necessarily endorse all of the information, content, or language used in these references